Its still hard

To hear or see: I love you yvonne.

Every so often my ex will go through a couple minutes of saying how he wishes that we could have worked out and he loves me and yadda yadda.

This is what he said this time
You know one regret I have even though I love B and I thank god for K but I wish I would have tried harder to fix us back when I feel like Ive missed so much of his life. You know I awlays wanted to be a family with monk but so much happened I just gave up. I always will have love for you yvonne.

I had already been crying. And it just took me by surprise and I cried somemore. I didnt reply anything back to him, but I did write him a note that I plan to throw away.

C-
If you ever feel the need to tell me that ou love meor you wished life was differently please write it on a piece of paper and throw it away. Keep it to yourself. There is no reason to open a healing wound. If you are having problems at home - fix them. Change to save your marriage.

As innocent and nice that might sound, I know he will take it the wrong complete way. And flip out. I am done being a toy. I spent 6 years with him. Things werent perfect, I messed up. He messed up. He left me for B. He doesnt tell the story the same way. But.. I know it..

I wasnt even suppose to be with him around the time he left with B, I was suppose to be an army girlfriend and waiting for him to get out of bootcamp. But that never happened..